I haven’t written a Sunday Sparkle post in a long time. Mostly because I don’t even know where to begin.
So I revisited my past posts just to see what they were like…but really, I was procrastinating. Surprisingly though, my old Sunday Sparkle posts (like this one, this one, and this one) were actually kinda nice. They reminded me of how far I’ve come and how I always tried to be the best version of myself that I could possibly be.
Over the past years, I was trying to overcome a lot of my fears. More recently though, it’s vulnerability that I’ve been struggling with. After taking some time off for myself, and well, falling in love, it seems like some of my old walls came back up again. And it became harder for me to speak to and look into my own heart.
But wait, falling in love? How could falling in love make it harder to look into your own heart? Well…the biggest and most obvious reason is that you’re so blissfully happy. That makes it easier to forget about everything. But after the dust settled and I went back to my old routines, I realized that there was a lot of adjusting to be done. And I realized—”Single Nicole” would know how to rock whatever challenge pops up, “In A Relationship Nicole” was confused, and at times, so damn defensive.
For the longest time, it was all about facing fears on my own, learning to love myself on my own, being whole on my own, and just living. On. My. Own. And boy, did I have a blast doing it! Now that I’m in a relationship, I’m forced to redefine my beliefs. Forced to renovate my foundation. Forced to look at what risks I was taking. I could lose it all. I could gain the world. Was it worth it? (Spoiler alert: Yes, it’s always worth it. Moments of pure love, joy, and bliss usually are.)
So here I am—learning to find my balance once again. I’m discovering more things about myself, and in the process, I’m also learning what it means to be truly vulnerable to someone else. But the biggest lesson that I’ve learned so far? The work, the self-care, the whole loving yourself no matter what…it doesn’t stop just because you found your happily ever whatever. You still have to keep going and keep striving to live the most authentic, self-aware life possible. Because at the end of the day, it’s still your journey. The only difference? There’s someone walking with you on the same path now, and so, it’s time for you to make a little more space. ♥